Why your relationship needs to end now...

10. Your friends call you "Biggie" and "Tupac."
9. You're fantasizing about the janitor who called your butt "redonkulous" this morning.
8. Your "Sleep Numbers" add up to 666.
7. She picked up a rape whisle to wear around your crib.
6.You leave for work in the middle of the night just so you don't have to say good morning.
5. Last time you had sex, you ejaculated tears.
4.Your parrot repeats, "I'm sorry, I just won't go through the motions anymore."
3. You end arguements by saying "Oh, and I'm the cry baby. IDIOT."
2. She keeps accidentally stabbing you.
1. Role playing has become "Girl Who Doesn't Cry After Sex."